To write or not to write that surely has been my question for a long time.
I've always had this desire to be a writer, this feeling like God created me with something people might actually want to read. I could feel it in my bones. I have to thank my not so encouraging grade 8 English teacher for stunting my growth as a writer though. I can still hear her discouraging words telling me basically that I sucked at writing, and her recommendation that I transfer to a lower level class. I can remember how devastated I was, because at that point I thought I had something to say, I thought I was the next Salinger. I didn't know then nor did the school system that I had a learning disability that made it hard for me to express myself on paper. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it out in a way that was pleasing to Mrs. Bell. I must say moving to the "dummy class" (as we referred to them back then) my marks shot through the roof thanks to a wonderful teacher Mrs. Conrad, she found a way to get it out and onto paper.
I've come to realize through testing in my early 20's and a recent diagnosis, as well as having affected children, that I do have a learning disability and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. All of which has been helpful in explaining why I always felt like I was smart but was always was left feeling dumb when it came to performing in school. Why I had a hard time reading and doing assignments and why school just seemed so hard to me. I can remember as a kid having such a hard time paying attention, and my parents scoulding me after reading once again in my report card, "Laura could do well in school if she just applied herself." Oh how frustrating it was that they didn't get how hard it was to apply myself with all the distractions of a class room. I suppose this is one of the reasons I've been a relentless advocate for my children, and believe me in some ways the school system still needs parent's like me advocating for their kids. It's getting better but we have a long way to go!
Anyway, with all that said I feel like I'm stepping out on a limb because of this never ending feeling to write and express myself and today is the day to start blogging. I've read many blogs on the Internet and I get that most of the time it's just conversation and someones perspective on this thing we call life. I figure I can do that. I have kind of blogged in the past when my children were in the hospital, and I find it if nothing else, very therapeutic and helps me to release the never ending thoughts that ramble around in an ADHD mind. So I ask your grace if I don't get it right and if you find my opinions don't make sense or match yours. It's just me and my perspective on things. I don't profess to be an expert on anything and I'm not sure what I'll write about quite yet or if there will be a theme. So welcome and I hope you find my words entertaining, uplifting and inspiring to you as you journey through this life also.
Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journeyand cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing. James 1:2-4D