I am what the Bible refers to as a born again Christian, so my blog will undoubtably have a Christian world view to it. I explained to someone today, I am Christian. I don't see being Christian as a religion, it is my culture. A way of life, a lifestyle so to speak. It's who I am.
I haven't always had this understanding of Christianity though, in fact early on when I first became a Christian I really looked at it as a choice to be or not be a Christian. I guess in the beginning it kind of is. However, as I've grown and become more and more committed to God and what I believe to be true about Him I've changed my view of things. It seems even if I want to run away from God or chose not to follow Him any longer, it's not so easy to do that. When you ask Jesus Christ into your heart, He's there to stay. He doesn't just give up on you when you have doubts, or question what you believe. I've come to realize it takes an awful lot to make God leave your presence once you've committed to following Him.
The above scripture on the front page is what inspired the name for my blog. I am a traveller of sorts in this world, I'm on a spiritual journey to finding a deeper revelation of who I am and who God is in relation to me. Early on, I discovered this gate that Jesus speaks about in this scripture and I choose to walk through it.
Like the picture on my blog page, I see my spiritual journey, more like a road then a gate. I did however, think of it once more like a magical gate that once I choose to walk through I would be transformed into the person that I wanted to be, I would be happier, complete so to speak. Over the years, I've often felt like I'd failed as a Christian, you see I hadn't transformed magically when I entered through the gate, I still was so broken and lost in many ways. Thanks to God's grace, He's shown me that the gate was only the beginning and I've come to see it more like a road in which you journey on then a gate with a final destination, like Gramma's house. Once through the gate, the road goes on a long way leading to many new discoveries about yourself, some pain, some joy, ultimately a deeper understanding of God, myself and my reason for existing.
In September of 1998, I choice the narrow gate and I continue to walk the road that leads from it. It's not a very wide road and sometimes it feels like I'm gonna fall off and often I stop and think I can't go on. I don't want to continue and sometimes I've even turned back to look at the wishing I had taken the wide road instead, the one that appears easier.
The wide road however (which I did travel on for many years) appears easier, but looks are very deceiving. For it ultimately leads you no where; around and around in circles and confusion and lostness, eventually leading to destruction. What destruction? Perhaps never really knowing the person God created you to be and most of all a lifeless void where God cannot exist in His true form. My emotions say, "Yes, but this road looks easier." It seems on that road I can say and do and act as I please, but the reality is that there is no peace for me on the wide road.
It's the narrow road where I have found peace, choosing to be loving, when I don't want to be, forgiving when it's the last thing I would ever think of doing. Choosing to heal instead of hurt, choosing to let go and surrender my preconceived notions of what my life should become. On the narrow road I am transformed because there is no room for selfishness, unforgiveness, bitterness, envy or strife. Oh yes, the narrow road can be a place of pain, struggle and lonliness but because it's a journey you don't have to stay in that place long, unless you choose to or need to. I've stalled on the narrow road or choose to turn back and rewalk parts of the road and it's those times when I've questioned God's exsistence and when I've wished I'd taken the easy road instead. My experience has shown me, that when I keep on going the narrow road always leads to a good place. It's when I continue to travel the narrow road that I have experienced times of great peace, understanding and revelation of who God is and who I really am and what His plan for me is.
In my devotion today Joyce Myers talked about this scripture, she says: "No matter what has happened to you in your lifetime, even if you have been abandoned by your spouse or abused by your parents or hurt by your children or others, if you'll stay on that narrow path and leave all your excess baggage behind, sooner or later you will find the peace, joy, and fulfillment you seek."
When I read this, I saw a vision of myself on the narrow road trying to lug all this baggage with me and slowly I'm throwing it over the cliff because it's beginning to slow me down and cause me to almost fall from the cliff and I realize if I don't drop this baggage, I'm not gonna get to my destination. The baggage is worthless in comparison to what lies ahead, so I surrender my will and my way and I throw the baggage over the cliff and journey on.
So where are you today? Have you even choosen a road yet? Are you like me on the narrow road? Are you trying to lug all your baggage and your not getting anywhere. Maybe you've turned back in fear and your repeating the same parts of the road again. I encourage you to trust God. Let Go! Keep trusting and keep on the journey and rest in the fact that if you are truly committed to the narrow road, God won't let you fall off the road completely, He might allow you to turn back for a time, but ultimately He will keep you going forward and eventually you'll stop looking back wishing for the easier way. Bottom line...there is no easy way!!
Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journeyand cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing. James 1:2-4D