In one week all three of the men I had been casually dating at the time decided they wanted more then just a dating relationship, they wanted to get more serious. Well I was bound and determined I did not want anything serious, so one by one I ended the relationships, until I got to my husband. He was insistent that we shouldn't stop seeing each other and that we were right for each other and that, "He could make me happy, just give him a chance." Those were the words that sealed the deal for me that day. The words every girl wants to hear, somebody wants to make me happy. Yikes! How naive I was!
You see, after several years together and much wisdom, I have learnt that there is not a human being alive that can make you happy. My husband unknowingly signed up for a feat that is impossible to accomplish. No one can truly make you happy. Happiness comes from a much more Divine place.
When another human being says, "I can make you happy", what they are really saying is I am going to do everything I can to please you, to show you pleasure. Which is something that in the beginning of a relationship is pretty important to do if you want them to stick around. You know how it goes, there is lust and infatuation, you enjoy spending every waking moment together. Eventually though in any lasting relationship this eventually wears off (the honeymoon period ends) and real life takes over. You've got each other now and seeking to please your partner may no longer be your number one goal each day. Of course to keep a relationship healthy you still should have a little back and forth pleasing going on daily, but it's not about making the other person's life "happy".
So what is happiness then and how do we get it? I read a quote on Facebook this week and I haven't been able to stop thinking and meditating on it. "Happiness is understanding and accepting that life in this very moment is completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer.
God's plan for our life is perfect, so when we accept this and follow His plan for our life we can find true happiness. Even in times of struggle and suffering you can find true happiness, because it is part of the God's plan for your life, the more you resist this truth the more you suffer. The Bible tells us that God knows our coming in and going out, He knows exactly what is going to happen in our life before we do. A few months ago at a time when I felt like my life was completely falling a part my pastor said, "I think everything is happening in your life just the way God wants it to." I'm thinking is this guy crazy, is God a sadist!! But now I see what he meant, I get it!
The Happiness we seek comes from accepting this truth and not struggling against that which we have no control over anyway. For me and I'm sure for many others, this can be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you are going through something difficult. However, the sooner we accept the truth that God is in control and He knows exactly what you are going through and is right there to watch over you and guide you to your purpose, the happier you will be.
Psalm 121 - says: I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
I've learned along the narrow road this last few weeks that no matter where I am, no matter where I'm going, I am not alone. God is watching over my every step, this scripture above mentions the fact that God is watching over me four times. Obviously, He's trying to make a point here!! You are not in this alone, He is watching over you!! It also says, He will keep me from all harm, that doesn't mean bad things won't happen, it just means He will be with me during those times and won't let these things destroy my faith.
Happiness (and ultimately peace) come when I am walking in the purpose that God created me for. Figuring out His will is sometimes hard to do because I live in a busy world that distracts me from listening to God, really connecting my soul to Him. Here's the neat thing though, my soul already knows what it was created for because God intimately and passionately created me. The bible says: For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 Did you get that, you already know your purpose, you just have to be quiet enough to listen!
Deep down inside I already know why God created me, it's imprinted on my soul, so my challenge is to make time to really listen and obey. When I do this I realize that in His will, everything I experience, in fact everyone of my steps has been ordained by God, He is watching over me. And... that my friends....is the secret to true happiness!